September 2011
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I can't help but hate this day.
I mean, sure, I was able to achieve a certain goal I’ve set a while back (and I mean, really— overcoming something I fear IS more than just another… something). But. The fact that for some reason, misfortune’d suddenly decide to cease all positive feelings and make me lose my index card? MY OH SO PRECIOUS INDEX CARD WHOSE EXISTENCE I’VE BEEN GUARDING FOR QUITE SOME...
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“If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.”
– Haruki Murakami
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Must you always visit me in my dreams, my love?
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and yet reality has always been better
than silly wishes
of marriage
and of fortune
.
your existence
is my fuel,
and i am only enough
whenever i remember
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confession 0
i’ve always wanted
to fall for a prolific writer—
that way,
i could write him the most brilliant of words
i could ever write,
on the best-scented parchment
ever sold,
hoping to impress him with the near-desperation for his response
ever-present in each stroke,
in the shriveled ‘i’s and shrunken ‘m’s
.
and ah,
he would write back—
even the...
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on second thought,
i guess it doesn’t matter whether happy crushes make you happy or not—
friends make you happy.
that’s what matters, i guess.
.
Block G16 (and friends), I know you’ll never read this but, I love you guys. Every single one of you.
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happy crushes are supposed to make one happy, aren’t they?—
temporarily, at least—
but why do they end up crushing me instead?
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my soul still grieves
for a body
lost
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ringletts replied to your post: i want to sleep forever
Take a long nap but dont sleep forever. You’ll miss out on some good stuff if you do that :)
Hmmm. Pretty negotiable, I guess. I’ll… get back to you on that. xD Thank you! :)
i want to sleep forever
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the bad things— why do they happen— are they meant to?
would they still have happened if i came in early, or if i came in late? would they still have happened if i somehow fell off the rappelling tower (which, in hindsight, i wish had happened), early today? would they still have happened if i managed to submit my code on time, or if i did not do what i wasn’t supposed to do?...
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ohmigod world.
if you want me dead, then just kill me already. you don’t have to rely on every other possible damn misfortune. just go straight to the point. go straight to the point and shoot me in the head.
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And oh my God, universe,
… that’s why I locked myself up in my damn room: so I don’t yell or scream at anyone. Why the hell do you send them in going all: “If you’re going to yell at me or scream at me, then don’t talk to me!”
In my own room. In. My. Own. Room.
THAT’S WHY I WAS IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE OKAY JUST GO WATCH SOME TV OR SOMETHING I MEAN YOU SHOULDN’T...
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I wonder if staying in bed the whole day can kill...
If so, then I only need six more hours.
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Alright, world. You win.
I’m honestly too tired to rant anymore. You win.
Thanks for showing me that I can’t do anything right. I think I needed that a lot. Yeah. And oh, more thanks to you for sending such… striking… sights of things that remind me of—
— well, you get it. Thanks. For constantly reminding me. My heart aches each time. Ah, how’d you know that a heart attack was...
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“You were what I wanted,
I gave what I gave,
I’m not sorry I met you,
I’m not...”
– Your Ex-lover Is Dead - Stars (via sevum)
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